A Missing Generation in Orthodox America - Concluding Thoughts

 

That last post didn't complete my story.  I didn't suddenly become holy or righteous or perfect or so happy or whatever people assume happens next.  What did happen was healing.  And I can't really explain how it happened or give you a timetable, but with my return to the Church and intentional and conscious participation in the Church's mysteries, I am healing, I am being saved.  That is salvation.    

As an aside, I haven't received any psychological counseling (which there is nothing wrong with by the way).  I don't take medications, I don't do drugs nor do I drink regularly (except for an occasional glass or two of wine).  I'm not exceedingly wealthy without financial cares.  I say this so that you can understand that there isn't any other explanation for this transformation of the damaged young woman that I once was.  The insane crippling anxiety diminished considerably after my first honest confession. It was and remains a mystery. And while it is unexplainable, I know nothing to be truer. As God as my witness, I'm not lying about this.  He was there, He knows.  And the most astonishing part about this was that I did not expect it to happen.  I didn't walk into that Church knowing that this would be the result.  But it was.  I could breathe. It was God's Grace and it was physically and emotionally perceptible to me. Intangible but tangible at the same time.  It was a gift that I didn't expect much less deserve and it taught me volumes about the love of God.  And as I continue to live within the bosom of the Church, the healing continues. It's not over by any stretch.  

And so my dear readers, if you are estranged from the Church, be a stranger no more. If you are considering entering Orthodoxy from another tradition, you too can be a partaker of this Inexhaustible Cup.  Taste and see that the Lord is good. I was the prodigal daughter and He didn't turn me away.  Instead He waited for me to come home and ran to embrace me.  I swear to you, I'm not making this up and He waits for you too.  Jesus Christ is the Truth and the Truth will set you free.  He did for me.  

   

 

A last thought on health

Somehow I have found myself almost to the end of October and I see that there is so much more I could or should have said about health, especially from the spiritual aspect of it.  I have been pressed for time lately, and have many more ideas, but I really need to sit down and sort them out in a cohesive manner that would make sense to all readers.   Probably come springtime, during Great Lent, I can make a better go at this, but for now I need to wrap things up with a conclusion.  And that conclusion is this:

We cannot have good health in isolation from each other.

God said from the very start: "And the LORD God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.'" Genesis 2:18   From a lesser authority, Wendell Berry in his book The Unsettling of America: Culture & Agriculture  states this: "To try to heal the body alone is to collaborate in the destruction of the body.  Healing is impossible in loneliness; it is the opposite of loneliness.  Conviviality is healing.  To be healed we must come with all the other creatures to the feast of Creation." (pp.103-104, from Chapter entitled "The Body and the Earth")

As an Orthodox Christian, I really dig that last line about the feast of Creation. We fast and feast in our Church like no one else I know.  Particulary, the wedding feast imagery is huge in Orthodox Christianity.   Christ's Church is the bride, and He is the Bridegroom. It is not for nothing that the first wonder that Jesus works in the New Testament is turning the water into wine at the wedding at Cana.  There will be much more on this Bridegroom imagery once we get to Holy Week.  It is so beautiful and other-worldly, I can't wait to share it all with you.  I wish it were Holy Week right now.  Sorry, I've digressed once again.

In order to further prove this point of healing with the involvement of others, I will relay to you this brief testimony of someone "being there" for me.  You may think it's lame, but at the time, it meant the world to me.

This occured during a time that I was a bit down in the dumps about some things, nothing earth shattering, but unpleasant enough that I wasn't my usual self.   I had been walking with a woman, who was no more than an aquaintance, and having just pleasant chit-chat about nothing really when she suddenly stopped the conversation and said, "You know, you have really beautiful hair."  I thanked her of course, but then quickly had to excuse myself because I was on the verge of bursting into tears.  I know it was a compliment on my appearance, but it was so unexpected and sincere that I almost could not contain the joy it caused me.  It was the nicest thing anyone had said to me in awhile, and at least for the next few days, I lived on that kind compliment.  And here's the kicker, this woman was in the process of recovering from late stage cancer surgery.   So when she could have been talking about her trials with this very serious illness (and rightfully so!!!) instead she must of sensed something amiss with me and said whatever she thought might cheer me up.    We should all have such awareness of each other!

And so dear ones, I end with this quote from the ancient Jewish Philosopher Philo Judeaus (15 BC -50 AD).  Ponder it, but more importantly, put it into use.

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

Ain't that the truth.

The positive effects of smiling

Sunflowers, in full bloom, know how to smile.  Photo from my backyard.

Okay this is a little out of left field maybe, but I ran across this really interesting article on smiling and suicide prevention published by the American Journal of Psychiatry found here.

Suicide, without trying to make light of a devastating topic, is the antithesis of good health.  As Americans, we value life.  From the Declaration of Independence: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."  Life was believed to be a right of every human being according to the authors of the Declaration.

Of course, not everyone loves their own life and sometimes suicide appears to be the only way out of what looks to be a desperate or embarrassing situation at the particular moment in time.  A few weeks ago in a quiet Arizona community, a man killed his wife, two children (ages 8 & 10) and then himself.  Here's the story if you wish to read it for yourself.  The article says his wife was taken away in extremely critical condition, however according to subsequent articles, she did end up dying two days later in the hospital.  I read in another place that the children were wonderful students and the family car had the special "It Shouldn't Hurt To Be A Child" child abuse awareness license plate.  Obviously there was some other hurt deep within this man that led him to do such a terrible thing.  Sadly, these stories are becoming all too familiar lately.  Maybe it's the economy, maybe it's not.  This gentleman had been employed and was portrayed as a very likeable person by his co-workers, so that doesn't seem to be the case in this particular story.   Whatever the man's "reason" for this, the end result was tragic. 


So back to the original article that inspired me to write this little bit.  According to the American Journal of Psychiatry's article (and it is very readable, no technical jargon to get in the way) a genuine smile can prevent someone from taking their life.  The simple act of showing just a fleeting interest in another human being can have enormous positive consequences.  I have read in some Orthodox Christian literature that smiling at another person is a form of almsgiving.  That's a really great concept if you think about it.


Now I'm not suggesting we all walk around like a bunch of jackasses with a big stupid grin on our faces all day long, but maybe we should be a little more aware of how we carry ourselves.  There are some days when we can't smile.  We all have had those days.  However, there are also days in which we can.  Perhaps, even if it is just one day a week for five minutes that we are happy, we can max out those five minutes by flashing someone a smile or a kind word. 


At any rate, read the article above and let's all make at least a small effort to smile more.  There is an upside for women too.  The more women genuinely smile, the less wrinkles they have.  Google it, there is research to support that theory!

Our part of the health equation

The last post clearly states God's role in helping us with our  health.  I can truthfully testify that God is first place I go when I need help.  HOWEVER, if you actually read my little blurb on salvation, there is another important factor in our health, and that is us.

I am responsible for me.  It's not that God can't do all the work, but what I have found is that He wants me to be part of the process as well.  I can't pray to lose weight yet refuse to monitor my caloric intake and ignore exercise.   I can't ask God to find me a job, yet refuse to take one that is offered to me that doesn't meet all "my" requirements.  I can't pray to God for a peaceful resolution to a conflict with a person, yet go around bad mouthing and re-telling people how I have been wronged by said person.  It's like this joke:

A man was standing on his front porch and his neighbor came by and told him that a flood was coming and that he had better evacuate.  The man replied, "No worries. God loves me and will save me."  Well, the flood came down his street and came up to the level of his porch.  A police officer then came down the street in a boat and said "Sir, the flood is only going to get worse, climb into the boat and we'll move to higher ground."  The man then answered back "No, that's okay, God loves me and will save me."  A few hours later, after the man had to move to the roof of his house because the flood waters had overtaken his home a helicopter hovers over the man and drops down a ladder to lift the man to safety.  Sure enough, the reply was the same, "No thanks.  God loves me and will save me."  Sadly, the flood waters rose so high that the man drowned.  The man is now in heaven and says to God "Where were You during my time of trouble?  I thought you loved me."  And then God calmly answers back "What are you talking about? I do love you. Don't you remember? I sent you your neighbor, a police officer and a helicopter."

Two lessons learned:

1. God provided for the man, but the man refused to take his help. 
2. Help = Love

Love can come from a variety of sources and but usually it is our pride that gets in the way of taking it.  And although pride is never really justified, it is understandable where it comes from.  If your whole life someone has been telling you that you are stupid or instilled some sort of irrational fear into you and then you finally resolve to undertake some sort of endeavor and this person wants to help you, you may become defensive and say "No!  I can do it myself, I don't need your help."  I am ashamed to admit this, but I can recall many times either saying or thinking this very thing. It's hard habit to break, especially if in the past people have offered their help and really they had ulterior motives the whole time.  Or if there was a person who you told you repeatedly that they loved you, but in the end you found yourself betrayed one way or another.  No one likes to set themselves up for heartache or hurt.  It's a tough spot for sure and defensive-ness is often the knee-jerk reaction to any future offers of help from other people.

So what exactly am I getting at here?  I guess that it is this. 

We HAVE to let others love us.  When we deny their love, we are ultimately denying God's love for us.  Yes, there are crummy people out there, wolves in sheep's clothing as they say.  But, there are also some very good people out there who legitimately want to love us and, whether they are conscious of it or not, they are expressing God's love for us through their actions.  These are the same people fulfilling the words that St. Paul says in his epistle to the Galatians: "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." Galatians 6:2 We are denying these helpers/lovers the chance to fulfill the law of Christ, and that's not nice.  Not nice at all.

I know it's hard, and it's not something you can jump into all at once.  I take baby steps towards this.  If someone offers to open the door for me when my arms are full, I say yes.  If someone sees that I'm under the weather and offers to make dinner for my family, I say yes.  If someone notices that I am not my "normal self" and they ask me what's bothering me, I tell them and don't pretend everything is okay when it is not.  Now, obviously I use discretion and I don't blab out every single detail to every single person who asks because I also need to be mindful of what St. Paul says a teeny bit later "For each one shall bear his own load." Galatians 6:5.  Certainly measure the severity of your issue with the known severity of the one asking you the questions before you respond.  I heard a story of a priest and his wife who, while sitting and watching their very premature baby struggle for life in the NICU, had a woman come in and try to "help" by saying she knew how they felt because her dog had been really sick once.  While maybe this lady loved her dog as much as a child, comparing the two really wasn't the right thing to do in my opinion.  Perhaps the better response could have been "I know this is tough time for you.  Let me know what I can do to help." 

Well friends, I think I may have come full circle on this part of my ramblings on health.  Maybe for the balance of the month I'll post on things like healthy eating and the like.  I hope you enjoyed this.  I know I did.

143 My Friends!

An Urgent Post

It has come to my attention via a comment left with the last post that maybe I am making light of sickness and death.

I am not.

What's ironic is that my very first post had originally listed three people who I know who are fighting outrageous odds against cancer.  One is 6 year old child, another is a 40 year old mother of two and third is my godfather/uncle who is 69.  I decided not to post the details of this for two reasons.

1. Some people like to handle their illness in private and I had no right posting the details of their battle
2. I don't want people to "feel sorry" for me.  I am not the suffering person, just the bystander.

I can promise you that I do not think that sickness or suffering or death is funny.

It is not.

As one who has suffered with illness myself, I know first hand that there is nothing funny about it.  Pain be it physical or emotional is not funny.  However, those who suffer with it can deal with it with humour.  I will let them be the funny ones.

Finally, I have this to say about Fr. Tom. 

Fr. Tom is the child of an alcoholic.  He used to watch his father beat his mother every Easter morning.  This bit of information can be found on another very helpful CD called The Word of the Cross found here. The word of the cross is one of suffering. For what it's worth, Jesus suffered on the way to the cross.  He was not whistling Dixie with a crown of thorns on His head.  His mother was not cheering at the base of the cross, but  instead "yes, a sword will pierce through your own soul also" Luke 2:35.   As a mother, I cannot imagine watching a child of mine die such a horrific death.  I cringe at the thought of her suffering.

Maybe this is my next topic.  Suffering.  Honestly I am not comfortable with writing about such a thing.  I NEVER EVER EVER want to mislead anyone or give them the wrong impression about such a serious topic. 

Give me a day or two to think about it.

Bad Health = Punishment from God?

I have to admit that I think I may have bitten more off than I can chew with this topic on health.  Quite frankly, I don't even know where to begin, so I'm plugging my nose and jumping right into the topic with this cannonball of a equation.  Does poor health = punishment from God?

The short answer, no.  The longer answer is, well, longer.

There is a common misconception in this world that God loves to punish people. The theory goes something like this:  God just sits around day and night waiting for us to screw up so he can zap us with some sort illness, bad turn of events or even just a crummy day.  He is wrathful tyrant with a massive chip on His holy shoulder who cannot wait to condemn all unbelievers, drinkers, smokers, homosexuals, adulterers and those of us who wear white after Labor Day. One way to appease this "God" is to feed Him with 10% of your gross income, and then He will dispense His good "favor" to you.  However, should you fall short, you had better watch the hell out because tragedy is on the way.  At 9.9%, it may only be a flat tire, however the closer you get to 0%, the closer you get to some debilitating disease or sudden tragic death (plane crash, wild boar attack, falling anvil from the sky).

This may sound funny, but turn on one of those "religious" goofballs on TV and this is pretty much the description you are going to get.  God will bless you with good health/good job/good sex if only you please Him, the Wrathful and Angry God. Those who propagate this sort of idea not only distort the image of the real God found in the Holy Scriptures, but also do one more thing.  They instill fear. When surveyed, 9 out of 10 historical despots will agree with me.  Want to control the people? Control them with fear.  Yes, the Scriptures say "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom" (Proverbs 9:9-11), but this fear that the Scriptures speak of has nothing to do with God wanting to hurt us, but everything to do with drawing our attention to Him.  It is HE that is in ultimate control and not I.  I am not the center of the universe, God is.  Once I figure that out, then it is the beginning of wisdom.

Now, if you subscribe wholeheartedly to above Wrathful God business then maybe my blog isn't for you.  I understand.  It's a hard thought process to break, especially if you have been raised in the US.  Our so-called puritanical "Judeo-Christian" roots, complete with witch hunts, slavery and prohibition, still choke us today.  The notion of a loving and merciful God in this country has never existed at the popular level, just the Big Bully Deity.  If you don't want to agree with me, then perhaps the Prophet Jonah's testimony can sway you (see my post on Jonah here) as to how loving and merciful God truly is. 

I am not saying that sin is non-existent, and that there are no health/emotional consequences to sin.  There are negative effects for sure, but these are not punishments, but sometimes natural consequences to the unnatural, non-organic uses of our body. Example:  If you smoke a lot, you may have an increased risk of getting lung cancer.  The warning is right there on the box for crying out loud.  I realize this is quite simplistic and doesn't answer other deeper questions like "Why do innocent children suffer?".  For those answers, I need to bring in a professional.
 
So my dear readers without further ado, I present to you this:





Sin:  Primordial, Generational, Personal by Fr. Thomas Hopko, $16
Cover art of CD is Romanian folk art of St. George slaying the dragon (dragon = sin/evil/Satan).

 
Now, don't let the name scare you.  This lecture is not scary, too theological, or dry.  It is quite funny, easy to understand but most importantly, very enlightening and relevant to life in the 21st century.  Trust me people, I have listened to this over and over again.  I have to because it gives so much food for thought that I will think about something Fr. Tom has said and then not hear the next 5 minutes of his talk.  Fr. Tom's lecture gives the Orthodox Christian understanding of what sin is, where it comes from, who is to blame and what we can do about it.  If you hate love, then this ain't for you.  If you love light and truth (which are the verses right beyond John 3:16 which people seem to ignore John 3:16-21) then I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this for your listening pleasure.

Times are tough, I know.  This may not fit into your budget, so if you live locally and would like to listen, give me a ring and I will lend you my copy.  Or if you wish to purchase your own copy go here.  I just looked at it and for some reason the font in the description is all screwy.  No worries, I'm sure your order will be processed.  And by the way, I profit nothing from this.  I don't attend St. Vladimir's Seminary nor have any connection to them other than I purchase items from them and used to visit there when I was a child.

Okay, I've said a lot of stuff, maybe even stuff that makes you a little uncomfortable.  But before you start throwing other Scripture at me and cursing me out, give me the balance of the month to explain myself further.  There is no way I can say everything I want to say right now, so throw me a bone and await future posts.  Thanks guys!

p.s. - Sorry for the messed up formatting in the paragraphs above.  I'm still trying to figure this blogging stuff out.

Why health?

Yummy Turnips. 
More information about turnips can be found at the source of this photo Purdue University Vegetable Senior Study.

Before I post anything, I think I need to have a disclaimer.  I am not a doctor nor do I play one on TV.  I will not be dispensing any sort of medical/nutritional advice, but only point the reader to things that I have found interesting and/or helpful in my own life. Additionally, in the state in which I live, we have something called Veggie Libel Laws.  I cannot insult turnips nor disparge the manner in which they are grown (or any other food product for that matter).   We have laws in this country which, as a dutiful US citizen, I am bound to respect.  And if we don't follow the laws, there is chaos and I am against chaos of any sort.  My life is chaotic enough. Capeche?  Good, so let us commence our posting on health.

So....Why health?

Well I guess the most obvious reason is that our health is the most vital thing in our life.  We cannot function properly as human beings if our phyiscal, emotional or spiritual health is lacking.  It is for good reason that people say to you when things are rough: "Well, at least you have your health!"  We all struggle with some sort of illness, unfortunately some more than others, and I figure it is something we all have in common. 

So as my ancestors in the Slavic "Old Country" would say as they raised their glasses high..."Na Zdorovye!"  "To Your Health!"