A Missing Generation in Orthodox Christian America - The "When In Rome" Ideology - Part One

Before I start the post, here's something really cool I found about the origin of the saying "When in Rome" from a website called The Italian Notebook:

Ever heard the expression, “When in Rome, do as the Romans do”?

Of course you have.

Do you know the expression’s origin? St. Ambrose, way back in 387 A.D.

As the story goes, when St. Augustine arrived in Milan to assume his role as Professor of Rhetoric for the Imperial Court, he observed that the Church did not fast on Saturdays as it did in Rome.

Confused, Agostino consulted with the wiser and older Ambrogio (Ambrose), then the Bishop of Milan, who replied: “When I am at Rome, I fast on Saturday; when I am at Milan I do not. Follow the custom of the Church where you are.”

In 1621, British author Robert Burton, in his classic writing Anatomy of Melancholy, edited St. Ambrose’s remark to read: “When they are at Rome, they do there as they see done.”

Down through the years, Burton’s turn of the St. Ambrose quote was further edited, anonymously, into what is widely repeated today on a daily basis by some traveler, somewhere, trying to adjust to his/her new or temporary surroundings.

So there you go.  My post is based (unknowingly) from an expression from a 4th century Orthodox Christian saint.  Thank you St. Ambrose.

As mentioned in the previous post, ethnicity played a large role in the lack of acceptance into American society. Unlike Irish and Italians who also arrived from Europe at about the same time, we did not have the "numbers" to warrant our own mini societies within American society.  Some parts of Pennsylvania and Ohio may have been an exception to this, but generally speaking, we didn't have the support in numbers.  In my New Jersey hometown, most people were Italian or Irish.  On Thursdays, the day of CCD, (Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, Roman Catholic catechism) our public school had designated buses to take the kids directly to their church.  If I had to guess, I'd say RC kids were 75-80% of our student population.  

Anyhow, my point being here that we did not have the support of a "like" religious community on a daily basis.  It was (and still is to a certain extent) isolating to be an Orthodox Christian in America.  And the only way to end the isolation was to assimilate into American culture and values.  And I don't mean the "advertised" culture of Judeo-Christian values and the American dream of having everything if you just work hard enough.  No, American culture revolves around one thing at its core and that is money.  

Undefining Feminism

Okay, I've had a while to think some of this through.  Actually a few nights ago I woke up at 3 am and had my thoughts all sorted out. However, I kept arguing with myself that I shouldn't get up and write them down because I needed to get back to sleep. I had promised the kids that we would go to the zoo that day and I wanted to be well rested for the outing.  And sure enough, here I am grasping for those cohesive thoughts.

Having said this, I can remember one thing that I was going to say, so maybe I can start and then (hopefully) things will work themselves out.  So, here it goes.

I came to the conclusion that there is no way to define a feminist or a woman and that the popular idea of "defining oneself" is a false one. There are people who feel the need to say they are X, Y or Z. No you're not. You are a human being who likes X, or is Y by birth or Z by deliberate choice because you despise Y but ultimately you are not any of those things.  You are someone, not a list of adjectives whose definitions can be blurred or misunderstood.

Secondly, what I thought it meant to be a woman 20 years ago at the age of 21 is drastically different from what I know it to be now at the age of 41.  So what a 21 year old believes with her limited life experience and a what 41 year old believes with 20 additional years can and should be worlds apart.  There comes a point when one must take off their rose colored glasses instead of upping the prescription.  I think I reached that somewhere in my late 30's. 

And lastly, which sort of ties in with the second point, there seems to already exist certain conditions that one must meet in order to be regarded as a "feminist".  For the same reason I am a registered Independent when it comes to voting, I refuse to be categorized within the constructs of what society has predetermined to a feminist.  I hold certain beliefs  because I have either experienced something personally and know it to be true or have been close to people who have experienced something that really blew away my preconceived notions of what I had thought to be true.  That is what life is about and why we should always be free to change our minds without fear of being called a hypocrite.

With this in mind it is imperative that we avoid demeaning or belittling women whose actions appear contrary to our belief system. We have no idea what it is like to be them.  I am not suggesting that we sit by idly and watch someone self-destruct through addiction or that we not teach our children from our own mistakes.  Nor am I saying we should keep our opinions to ourselves.  There is always room for honest discussion and debate if people are willing to listen and not judge.  But once we start name-calling and casting people into hell, we destroy each other.  One of my biggest pet peeves EVER is when someone I don't know well (or at all!) says to me "You shouldn't feel that way about such-and-such. How can you believe such a thing!"  How do you know how I should feel?  Do you know how I arrived at this juncture and all the extenuating circumstances?  Unless it someone close to the situation that can provide an honest perspective, no celebrity or public figure has the right to assert that my beliefs or feelings about something should be one way or another.   And quite frankly, we shouldn't be turning to pop culture for any sort of advice about anything.  Unfortunately that is all we have and it is in our face.  That's what's next.  The fantasy created by our culture and how it further enslaves women. 

See you soon!

Last Thoughts on Peace for 2010

Ring around Supernova 1987A.
 Photo taken on 11/28/03 and found at The Hubble Site.

How the heck did it get to be New Year's Eve already?  Craziness, sheer craziness if you ask me.

I hope you enjoyed reading those two articles I posted on peace.  Yeah, they were long but well worth the time I think.  Peace is so hard to come by these days. We have grown so used to LOUDNESS and commotion that peace is almost extinct as a natural commodity.  Something that should be the rule has become the exception.  Occassionally I find myself startled by the quiet. And so startled that it is unnerving.  To quote Pink from her song "Sober":

The quiet scares me 'cause it screams the truth.

She's right.  And that's why we try to avoid the quiet (where peace resides) because we can't bear the truth.  But bearing the truth seems to be the only route to true peace.  Not bogus peace, but legitimate peace where the quiet is no longer unsettling but a place of rest, and ultimately freedom.  Remember, "you should know the truth, [for] the truth shall set you free." John 8:32.  

No matter what your personal circumstances may be or where you call home, may you find more peace in your soul, a genuine place of serenity from the tumultuous motion that is inherent while living on Earth.

I'll see you guys in January for some fiery preaching from the 4th century.