I'm not denying that we are sexual beings. Of course we are. I wouldn't be here if there had not been generations of people having sex. Sex is part of being a member of the human race, but we have given it WAY too much power in the role that it plays in society. And I have an extremely difficult time in understanding how this sexualization of society has benefited women in even the slightest manner. Diseases and unplanned pregnancies don't sound like freedom to me. And although people can point to vaccines, safe sexual practices, and birth control to avoid such things, none of it is 100% effective. And most importantly, we forget that there is a human being with a heart, a soul, and feelings attached to all of this. Women can and are left feeling empty, hurt and at times, suicidal when trying to live out this promised bliss of sexual freedom that is so heavily promoted in our culture. It is not unheard of a girl committing suicide after naked pictures of her are forwarded around her school. I am no expert on the history of the women's rights movement in America, but I can guarantee you the women weren't picketing the streets so one day girls would have the opportunity to text naked pictures of themselves to boys. This is not empowering, it's insanity.
I just finished reading a book called Dirty Little Secrets: Breaking the Silence on Teenage Girls and Promiscuity by Kerry Cohen. The author relays story after story of young women who have led promiscuous lives in order to find their self-worth. I don't condemn any of these young women. In fact, my heart hurts for them. They were duped by our over-sexualized culture into thinking that their worth was dependant on how much they were desired by boys/men. Here are some quotes from the book from the girls:
As years went by sex became exactly what I wished to win, because it told me that I was valuable and beautiful, and those things were important to me. (pg.25)and this
When we broke up, I slept with guy after guy to fill the emptiness that I felt. I started cutting and became addicted to drugs. I became known as either "That Girl That Cuts" or "That Slut". (pg.99)and this
I have a Pavlov's dog-reaction to the sound of a text coming in. I immediately think, "Could it be someone who wants me?" (pg.135)Doesn't sound like good times to me. This book was a pretty interesting read, and although I did not agree with the author's hopes for the future which wishes for casual sex without the emotional strings attached, it was brutally honest about what is really going on in the lives of young women today. She had this to say which is spot on:
A huge part of being a loose girl is believing in a fantasy, and that fantasy is of course not factual. We have been handed the lie about men by our media and culture. A boy will make you worth something. A boy's loving you means you matter in the world. We've bought the idea entirely...(pg. 170)
Now certainly, not every woman's story is like the ones mentioned above, but the fact remains that there are some that are. They have become collateral damage in this sexual revolution that is grounded in fantasy and not reality. There are real consequences to this sexy world we live in. And more often than not, the consequences have to be handled by a woman, alone. Notice the MTV reality show about teen pregnancy is aptly named "Teen Mom" and not "Teen Parents".
As I mentioned in a prior post, I have two daughters of my own. My daunting job is to now somehow convince them that despite whatever is being marketed by our culture at every waking moment about their self-worth is false. It's an uphill battle for sure. However, allowing them to figure it out entirely for themselves and giving them the power to do whatever "feels right" to them is not the answer. When we get drunk our judgement is impaired and we honestly believe that we are okay to drive, but an outside observer will tell you otherwise. I have to be that sober outside observer for everything for my children. But in order to do that, I have to be sober myself. Screaming "Don't do it! Don't do it! God hates fornicators! You'll go to hell!" is not sober. I think that the only way to counter our present enslaving culture is to expose the illusion in an un-fanatical and completely honest manner and through my own actions show that the only way to truly be free in any aspect of life, is through self-control.
Self-control, the purported archenemy of freedom...next topic.